And it continues

The girls are finally in bed, and I have all my "chores" done. So the only logical thing to do, it continue where I left off earlier. :)

Chapter 2: What women lose

The opener...

That women may actually be the losers in the sexual revolution is an idea just dawning on this generation of young women, who feel as sexually free as it is possible to feel and yet are so often powerless to experience anything more with the opposite sex than unsatisfying loveless flings.-Danielle Crittenden

Hold on tight. This one is gonna be bumpy.

This chapter talks about the emotional scarring women make themselves available to through sex and relationships. Please, tell me something I dont know....or maybe something else that isnt so depressing.

Facts:

Recent neurological studies on men and women's brains show that when a woman feels and emotion like sadness, it affects six times more area of her brain than would be affected in a man's brain. The common expression that a woman "feels more deeply" has an actual physiological basis.

Our basic orientation to life makes us more susceptible to the pain of sexual bonds that are made and then lost. Women are wired for connection.

A woman is designed to forge a connection with a man that has the capacity for ever-increasing levels of depth and intimacy. She is inclined to build a lasting relationship with a man-one that can withstand the rigors of job changes, mother-in-law irritations, and the onset of wrinkles. Everything in her cries out for a relationship that endures.

And, last...

The proof of our equality with men has become our ability to flat-line a broken heart.

Women now are expected not to feel anything. Todays culture is convincing us to deny our femaleness. We arent supposed to fear that relationships may not last, or grieve when its over. We arent supposed to be hurt, or betrayed, devastated...or to admit we had any expectations. This is so sad to me. Because this is the very way I was raised. I was raised by a single mom..who kept all her feelings hidden. I never saw her cry, even though I suspected she was hurting at times. I was taught to never let someone kno when you hurt, or let them get to you, because this was the first sign of weakness, and weakness was not allowed. I was never able to express these feelings, and now, as an adult, I react the same way. You wont know that you hurt me, or know that I think I am losing something, or know that I feel betrayed. (But there is one instance where I am very open with this. And I have yet to figure out why its so different with that person.) But grief is what tells you that you were meant for more, that God made your body and soul to be inextricably joined. Grief and hurt reminds you that you are human and that after all is said and done, you still have not managed to amputate your heart. The first step in reclaiming anything is to be able to name the pain, and be ready to let God do what only He can do.

So..after reading through chapter 2 questions...I am skipping them. I dont really know how I feel about them....

Maybe I can do question 2

2. Where is this culture do you observe the instance that you should be able to be sexually involved with a guy and not be emotionally attatched?

-NEVER. How can you not be emotionally attatched to someone you share something so special with?

And 3

3. What are some of the conclusions you have drawn out of the pain of a failed relationship? How do you see those conclusions now?

-In the middle of going through a "breakup" I think I feel like maybe I am just doomed to be alone forever lol. And if he didnt want me...who would. I have 2 kids, thats not something that guys are really looking for.

Now, I think I can see that I really wasnt in love with those people. There was something missing that I desperately need in a relationship. God. And I can accept the fact that I might be forever single, if thats what is meant to happen.

5-is not fun. But here goes

5. When, in a relationship, do you feel used or sense that you are in some way "using" someone else to meet your own needs?

Im going to answer the last part of this question only. Because its an eye opener.

I think in the past, I have used people to fill a void. I was searching for something, someone to make me happy.

Im starting to see that this is going to get harder. Boo. But I never really expected anything less. What I wasnt prepared for, was being so open to this. So, I will keep going.