Wondering why Im still awake...

Its 11:30pm. I went to bed 2 hours ago. And yet, Im still awake. Ive been doing really good to control my endless overthinking lately, but it seems to have caught up with me tonight. I can understand the stress of still being job-less, not knowing what to do next, or know what will happen when I run out of money.... but I am not finding myself thinking about any of that to be honest. This surprises me too, dont worry :)

I know everyone is bored hearing about my nonexistant love life, but it seems to be weighing on my heart pretty heavy today. I cant seem to shake this feeling of loneliness. For the past year, I have done a great job at keeping myself busy and preoccupied. I havent really had to think about it that much. And it is easy for me to say "Im fine" when people ask about it. But my little mini vacation these last 2 weeks has made it hard to overlook what Ive worked so hard to ignore.
I read my post from a week ago, and I went on and on about how I was happy being single. How is it so easy for something like that to come out of my mouth? Have I said these lies for so long that even Im convinced of them? Because reading what I wrote seemed like I made a pretty good case. Maybe I should consider becoming a lawyer....
Dont get me wrong, I am happy. I have 2 beautiful little girls. The things Ive accomplished for myself, I never knew I had in me. But still, theres something missing. And Im not exactly sure what that is. I know a lot of stuff that I could write about here. About people: past, present, and future. About thoughts, feelings, and wants. But, Im Dawn. And Im famous for not putting myself out there that much. This whole blogging thing is still pretty new to me. And I KNOW people read it, because they talk to me about it. Hopefully I get over that soon...Id like to look at it as just writing to myself. A little therapy for the soul :) I will just keep it simple for now. Hopefully all this thinking is simply a symptom of too much time on my hands. If not, I better find a solution to this problem sooner than later. Because I do not like this feeling one bit.