Part 4...Not sure what to think about this one

Chapter 4: Protective Fences

Straight from the mouth of a woman:

People always say, "Shes such a pretty girl-she must have loads of boyfriends." Sometimes I think I sleep with men to prove that Im attractive-Im normal. I have sex so people wont think theres something wrong with me.----Amy age 22

This chapter talks about sexual boundaries. Where you learn them, how you put them into action, and how to stay true to them.

This one is kind of different for me. At the end of my last blog I kind of talked about my mom, and how she never told me sex was off limits. I wasnt raised in church, I didnt have a father figure to be my protector, so that left only me to make my own decisions about what was right and wrong. Which, sexual boundaries, as I learned in this chapter, can only come from deep within you. "Real boundaries are those you embrace for yourself" But you have to have some kind of guidance along the way so you CAN establish those boundaries. I had nothing to base my choices on. Sex was not a subject I ever talked about with my mom. EVER. I never had "the birds and the bees" talk. Was never told about safe sex. I guess my mom just assumed I should know these things. I dont know what she thought to be honest.

Chapter 4 questions

4. In the absence of sexual boundaries, how do you see women becoming the "weaker sex"? In what ways does this increase our vulnerability?

-In a culture where sex is so common, it makes it hard to have boundaries for yourself. Sex is everywhere. Women pose for half naked pictures to sell a pair of jeans....how do you compete with that? Or women who have no boundaries....who make themselves readily available to a man...Hes not going to waste his time on you, when he can get what he wants from her. This makes us weak. Because we give in, in fear of losing a man to someone else. And when we do this, we are making ourselves vulnerable to not having the kind of lasting loving relationship we long for.

5.What would you need in order to internalize a sense of sexual boundaries so that they are not about deprivation but about freedom and choice?

-Just reading about what Ive lost and that its not too late, is enough to make me see that NOT having sex gives me more freedom and happiness than trying to get something the wrong way and being miserable in the end...