Sunday, May 9, 2010

What a lonely Mothers Day

I love mothers day. A day that celebrates everything good in my life. Being a mom to 2 wonderful kids. Having a mom that means the world to me. I had a great day at church, I walked out of there smiling as always. 3...yes 3 friends..told me Happy Mothers Day. And my mom and 2 sisters. Not that it means anything less that people dont tell me Happy Mothers Day, but I like to hear those things. My love-language is definately 'words of affirmation'
We had lunch at my sisters. Which was fun. I stopped at my best friends house on the way home to visit. We had a pretty long, eventful day. But I hate the feeling of loneliness that has followed me all day. I love my life, and I love being a mom. I cant even remember my life before I had kids. Being a mom is what Im meant to do. But today, on a day that is supposed to be so joyous and love-filled, I feel sad. Sad that I dont have someone to share it with. If you know me, you know I am a very independent person. I dont NEED someone. And there are very few days (though these days are creeping up more and more lately) that I feel like this. I hear all my mommy friends talk about what thier husbands got them for mothers day, what nice things they did, how they were pampered and treated like a queen :) Dont get me wrong, I LOVE spending time with my family. But I still came home alone. And had to cook dinner, and clean, and put the girls to bed by myself. No one was here to tell me how appreciated I am, or to help me with any of those things. Or to end my Mothers Day with.
Im not quite sure where this feeling came from. Maybe its just hearing about everyone else's day. And seeing families together, loving eachother. I hate to always want something I dont have. I hate that i cant just be 100% happy with the way things are. I hate the thought that I think I need someone to be happy. I know thats not true at all.
I hope this is just the mothers day blues, and it will go away. These days when I feel lonely are becoming more of a regular occurance though, and Im not liking it.

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